The Premonition

After divorcing my first husband, I wondered how someone knows if the person you are with is your soulmate. How does one go about finding him? Will I know right when I meet him, or will it take time for me to know he's the one?

What does soulmate mean, anyway?

According to the dictionary, -a soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, spirituality, and/or compatibility; the one and only other half of one’s soul.

Will I ever find that someone with whom I have this deep connection? Does everybody find theirs? How will I know? I found the answer to these questions about two years later.

When I first met Joe, I thought he was attractive, fun and easy-going. He made me laugh and we had a great time together. Soon after, we started dating and everything was going great.

One night, he was over at my place and we were watching TV. I had had a long day and started dozing off. I then started having a weird dream. In the dream he was driving down an empty road at night. Suddenly, he had a flat tire. He got out of the car to take a look. Out of nowhere came a man with a knife. He looked like a serial killer. He grabbed his arm and pulled him. I had a terrible feeling inside of me like I was never going to see him again. For a second I imagined not being able to hug him, see him smile, nor grow old with him. The pain inside of me was so intense.

I woke up at that moment and was relieved to see him by my side. I didn’t tell him about the dream. After all, it was not real. It had just been a nightmare.

It was getting late. He had to take a plane to San Diego early the next morning. He was going to be away for three days. We had plans after his business trip to go to Vegas with friends for a couple of days.

After we said goodbye, I sat back down on the couch, grabbed the remote and started flipping channels. It was close to midnight. I was tired and I fell asleep on the couch.

It felt like just a minute had gone by. I started having a dream. This time I was running in a hospital, looking for a room. Finally, I found the room and walked in. There was Joe. He had a lot of tubes and monitors around him. He was in a coma.

I woke up in a panic. It was 3 AM. I forgot to ask him to call me when he made it home. It’s 3 AM.

I can’t call him now!

What am I going to say, “Did you make it home? Are you okay? Sorry I woke you up. By the way, I have a feeling you’re going to die.”

He has an important meeting tomorrow. I’m not going to call him.

The feeling would not go away.

It’s just a dream, calm down. Why is this pain so intense? Why does it feel so real? I even felt physical pain, like someone was pulling my insides. I have never been so anxious in my life!

What if something happens to him? I can’t lose him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. God please, let this be just a bad dream. God, please, protect him wherever he is now.

I started crying. I had never had that feeling in my life.

What’s going on with me?

I wanted to talk to him so bad. He’s going to think I’m crazy. I kept trying to calm myself down.

He’s going to go on his trip, come back, we’re going to go to Vegas and I’m going to ask HIM to marry ME. In Vegas! That’s what I’ll do. Everything is going to be fine. When will this anxiety go away? God, I love him. Did I tell him that today?

By then, it was 4 AM. The phone rang.

“ Is this Lisa Carlson?” the voice asked.

“Speaking”, I replied. I knew what she was going to tell me. I knew something was wrong. I felt so guilty. I could have prevented this. Why would I have this premonition, other than to do something before it happened? Why didn’t I do something about it?

“Joe was in a car accident,” the lady said. “He’s going to be fine. He has several broken bones. He’s badly injured. But he’s going to be okay.”

I don’t even remember the ride to the hospital. I was numb. I walked into his room and saw him. He was all bruised with tubes connected to him, and his right arm had been amputated. His eyes were closed and as soon as he opened them and saw me, he smiled so big. I was so happy he was alive. I looked into his eyes and a thought came to my head.

Now I know what soulmate means. Now I know who my soulmate is.

the one and only other half of one’s soul