Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Part Deux, Good Dad Hunting

If You Could Hear What My Soul Is Saying...

Heart Sounds...

I loved you for so long that I know 
the sound your heart makes when I throw verbal blows that cause your face to ever so subtly twist in pain...
And I am wrong...
You are struggling so hard to keep you head above water dealing with me, Love...
And I am tryin' to turn 
the faucet on, full blast.  I am sorry...but I'm hoping you can swim.
Giving you every reason NOT to believe in what My Soul was trying to create...make it a real life force to reckon with...
But I just kept messing with 
the picture you were trying to paint.  You said you loved it, but you were growing indifferent...and fast!
the truth was you saw no value...
Insecurity is a weakness that destroys men & 
the women who love them.
It makes it hard to recognize what's genuine & what's not...And it exposes boys when 
the shit Life dishes gets too hot...
And I am wrong for faulting you for being something you are not
I have yet to break that mental barrier.  
The Rites of Passage Program is supposed to help me become a carrier of the race.
Yet I stand in 
the faces of everyone I know like I am living the right way.
They must know I am not...Don't have 
the energy to call them out, too.  The charade I carried out meant I didn't give a damn...And we weren't going be anything...Though I claimed otherwise...The song I sang was limited...The lyrics were played...And you are/were angry you stayed
But I am sorry..NOW..this time...AGAIN!

No..You are sorry...Sorry because you tried to show me how this picture really looks.
You are just an imperfect woman seeking righteous salvation through your make a mine, too!  Building a foundation is your main motivation. My interpretation is mine, not yours.
And I apologize for putting pressure on you to help me when I didn't truly care to help myself...nor help you build US on this fertile ground.

I am sorry I may not be around for you to see 
the seeds you planted within Me grow to maturation...  Righteousness, honesty & truth will be born unto me...They will set the example for me to see what I should have been doing all along.
Reality hurts...and can be brutally open & unnerving...Honesty, truth & righteousness will deal with me on 
the justice level.
This is not for you to do...You have guided me this far.
Only they will bring change to my heart...

They will have loved me for so long when I have rejected them that they will know 
the sound my heart makes when they throw verbal blows that make my face ever so subtly twist in pain. 
And they will be right...

See, I am struggling so hard to keep my head above water...And they will be turning 
the faucet on, full blast.
And they will be sorry, because they know I can swim...
the midst of our Cold Winter, I finally learned that in you, there is an Invincible Summer...
You know 
the resume' for the day...Darts or Flowers...

Last of 
the Trilogy, in a few...

insecurity is a weakness

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